Journalistic Arrogance 101

Martin Samuel of The Times has chosen that oft ignored subject for football columnists: A defence of Frank Lampard

Frank Lampard is football’s equivalent of litmus paper.

If that litmus paper wandered around the centre circle of Stamford Bridge occasionally kicking the ball against a defender into the back of the net then yes.

Well, introduce Lampard’s name into a conversation about the game and comparable indicators appear. You find out who knows and who doesn’t.

It sounds like (given his track record) Samuel is about to argue that if I know anything about football then I must get down on my knees and hail to the greatest, noblest midfielder in the world: one Frank Lampard Jnr.

A trip to the official site of the premier league reveals that Frank Lampard has been consistently in the top 2 or 3 midfielders in the scoring charts, and top ten in assists over the last 5 years. Various sources within the game who are listed within the article itself all agree on what a fantastic player he is. OK Martin I'm with you. I have to agree that Lampard is a excellent player, of which there can be no doubt...

Against Liverpool on Wednesday he went above and beyond. By electing to take, and scoring, a vital penalty in his first game back since the death of his mother, Pat, Lampard became the hero of the night. It was a moment of exquisite bravery in a sporting context, one of the finest examples I have seen

Oh.

Dear.

Yes despite writing a column about it only 4 days earlier Samuel chooses to once again shove down us poor stupid football fans throats how incredibly incredibly brave Frank really is. In fact I can't think of one big game for Chelsea or England where he has been utterly anonymous when his team has needed him the most.
Oh sorry I've just realised that last sentence is complete bullshit.

I am more convinced than ever that if you hate Lampard, you don’t know what you’re watching.

Did you know that Frank Lampard once flew around the planet earth backwards so he could turn back time and save his one true love Lois Lane? Or was that Superman?

Yes OK fair play to Lampard he took a big penalty in the biggest game of the season and he slotted it, but I mean give up with the whole mother angle already. Get over it Samuel. I realise that Frank Lampard is an attractive man but really just leave it alone.

Samuel now goes on to publish a number of reader comments on his last Frank Lampard diatribe to prove how stupid the average Frank Lampard hater really is. No cherry picking here from Samuel of course...

It was a well-taken penalty, but hardly a Johnnie Wilkinson moment. Calm down, mate
Simon, meanwhile, shows his grasp of an array of sports by failing to spell Jonny Wilkinson’s name correctly.

Hahaha this guy can't even spell the word Jonny! I mean it's a word that sportswriters I'm sure use a lot. But this guy is just a normal bloke who would never need to write the name, how he is supposed to know that Wilkinson uses such a stupid spelling for his first name?
Also the implication that not being able to spell to any level renders his opinion useless? Very clever Martin, most unpretentious of you.
There are a few other comments Samuel responds to which vary in quality but then this one really hacked me off:

Pathetic obsession with Lampard. Many athletes perform immediately after a family bereavement. Wes Brown, the Manchester United defender, did in February. No fuss, just simple dignity. Thousands of people across this nation lose their nearest and dearest and go straight back to work.

followed by this response:
Brown played in the Manchester derby three days after his father died. Lampard did not feel capable for a week after the death of his mother. Brown’s dedication was equally admirable, but people handle grief in different ways

Oh well that's why you didn't write a fawning column about Wes Brown declaring him as near to sainthood as a footballer can get. He dealt with the grief in a different way? Next time you're round at Wes' house say hi from me won't you Martin? Oh wait you mean you don't know him personally at all? Well you can't be expected to speak to people who live in the North of England now can you you superior cockney twat.

None of the comments Samuel posts suggest a hatred of Lampard or doubting of his footballing abilities. Only one questions his performances for England. A subject which Samuel clearly does not want to get into and dismisses with:

the two player-of-the-year awards Lampard won from England fans in 2004 and 2005

In Euro 2004 Lampard scored 3 goals, all vital at the time including an extra time equaliser against Portugal. He proved himself for his country that season. I don't doubt this player's fantastic ability.
In the 04/05 season he scored against Wales, Austria and Northern Ireland, playing in 6 qualifying games for the World Cup. Not bad but the opposition were average at best.
05/06 continued playing well in qualifying and then went on to have an absolute shocker at the World Cup itself, consistently playing below his usual standards. I am struggling to remember even a decent performance since that World Cup and in fact he's only scored one goal in a competitive international since. And that was a penalty!

He phones it in for England. He looks like he doesn't care. And get this: even Steve McClaren knew to drop him!
The guy proved himself and then has coasted on his reputation for the last 3 seasons of playing for his country, an honour very few are talented enough to earn. Perhaps this is why people don't quite agree with Martin Samuel's appraisal of Lampard's bravery and big game prowess.

So in summary we are all idiots for questioning Lampard's ability. Martin Samuel proves this by listing comments which do not question Lampard's ability, only exactly how brave it really is to take a penalty, and how motivated Lampard is when it really matters.

The only thing that seems to get him up for a big game is his mother dieing. Perhaps a Frank Lampard Snr kidnapping at the next World Cup may be in order. Don Fabio know anyone?

Oh and if you can't spell Jonny then SHUT UP!