Cascarino not so Wise

I have no objection to ex-footballers writing about football per se, but stuff like this makes you wonder why some of them get paid.

If you're in his camp, you love him, if you're on the outside, the chances are you hate him. That's how it's always been for Dennis Wise and he couldn't care less.

I think perhaps Calum Davidson may disagree with the start of this article, although of course it would have been difficult for him to voice those concerns after 20th July 2002 when his then team mate Dennis Wise broke his jaw on a pre-season tour of Finland. Davidson you may remember tried to break up a fight between rat face and another team mate.

Why anyone would want to break it up when they could've joined in the shoeing on Wise is another matter entirely.

You'll rarely meet anyone as brave or as thick-skinned.

A man who uses violence to achieve his goals is a coward. Wise is such a man. I wouldn't be suprised if Keegan quit due to Wise biting his nose off or spitting on him during a board meeting...

MA: So Kevin have you thought of any key transfer targets over the Summer?
KK: Well the targets for me to take this club forward need to be truly world class. Frank Lampard, Ronaldinho for starters then...
DW: (jumps on the table of the boardroom in Gollum-esque fashion, coughs up a big greenie and launches at KK) You shall not have the precious. (turns to MA) Take Xisco and Danny Guthrie instead master.

I recall when my name was booed by Chelsea fans when it was announced to the crowd. It left me feeling, well, about as big as Dennis. But he ran over from 30 yards away to tell me: “They really hate you, don't they!” Cheers.

And I quote: "If you're in his camp, you love him". If I was in Cascarino's shoes here I would have waited until after the game and then locked Wise in a room with a bunch of irate taxi drivers.

Another time at Chelsea, he stuck two fingers up at his own supporters when they jeered him.

And I quote: "If you're in his camp, you love him".

Dennis walked away from the Millwall job because he wanted transfer funds to push for promotion and the board wouldn't give him the money. Sounds similar to Keegan, but the difference is that if he doesn't get what he wants, Dennis will roll up his sleeves and prepare for battle. He'd have no sympathy for the sort of cry-baby, toys-out-of-the-pram attitude that Keegan has been often accused of.

What the fuck is this paragraph all about. Wise walked away from Millwall when he didn't get what he wanted but he will roll his sleeves up if he doesn't get what he wants?
No he won't you thick "Irish" bastard you just said so in the last fucking sentence. YOU fucking said it yourself! Monumentally stupid writing.
I can't figure out if he is really just that thick or if he was drunk when he wrote this article, either way it's horrible.

Also: Dennis Wise has quit Millwall, Swindon and Leeds Utd manager jobs and now has gone behind the scenes at Newcastle. What a battler!

Wise sums up all that is wrong in football today. He is a convicted criminal without any loyalty to team mates or employers and yet people continue to employ him. I cannot for the life of me figure out why but perhaps it is because people like Cascarino exists that people like Wise still hold positions of power at football clubs.

Tatum Bell v Rudi Johnson

This story is madness of the highest order. Utterly baffling and hilraious at the same time.

Check the comments at the bottom of the page. My personal favourite is:

"The source also said Bell took the bags to the home of a female acquaintance." Ironically enough, that is the longest carry he had in his career with the Lions.

Phil Thompson 'expert' analysis

In SkySports.com's dubiously named expert column featuring Phil Thompson (I can't say it was written by Thommo as he is only quoted due to the fact he hasn't yet learnt to type. His only attempt was in 1998 but he found he cannot see the keyboard due to the size of his nose. Yes I know cheap shot) he discusses West Ham's Alan Curbishley.

"It was a brave a decision to play the same side that played so dismally at Manchester City last week," said Thompson. "But as I said right at the start of the game it shows his faith.

Perhaps it was more reflective on the fact Curbs has no one who's any good on the bench? Except a returning from injury and not fully fit Bellamy of course.

"It wasn't a 4-1 game and probably 2-1 would have been justified because they scored two late goals. But they played very well.

2-1 would have been justified except for Blackburn's disallowed goal that was not offside and the missed penalty. Probably Thommo was too busy thinking of the beautiful flowing locks of his dreamboat Nando Torres to see those incidents.

"I've seen it again and he wasn't offside because he was in line with the defender and the linesman got it completely wrong. That might have changed the whole complexion of the game."

Oh so he did see that.

Might have changed = would have changed because it would have meant the score changed to 2-2 therefore by definition changing the whole complexion of the game

"Robert Green made the penalty save, but he made two other saves as well.

And that.

Note the weird use of 'but' in the above sentence. As if juxtaposing the two halves of the comment. It's as if he means that saving a penalty is valid (and not lucky) if you've made some other good saves during a game as well whereas if it's the only save you make then you have ripped them off or something. Absurd logic.

"So he might feel a little unfortunate that they've been given a whacking today."

Freudian slip here (be afraid Nando, be very afraid).

NB. Bonus points for Thommo not mentioning Liverpool mean I didn't really rip into him as much as I would've otherwise done.