Monday 17 June 2013

Joe Kinnear appoints himself Newcastle Director of Football

Newly self-appointed Newcastle Utd Director of Football Joe Kinnear has thrown up some clearly deluded quotes in a Sky Sports interview. He's confirmed he has joined the club, but the club themselves have been suspiciously quiet and have yet to officially confirm it. Strange situation.

Anyway this is a good time to remember his introductory press conference from his last spell at the club. His opening gambit to the assembled press:

JK Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?
SB Me.
JK You're a cunt.

Back to the present however we get the following:

I've never been a manager of a club that's been relegated

Joe Kinnear was director of football and manager of Luton Town when they were relegated in 2001.

Further to this Kinnear spoke of an "Arab invasion" in the Premier League, as well as calling his new boss David when he is in fact named Derek.

I'm trying to understand the context of the Arab invasion quote. As far as I know the only "Arab" he could be referring to is the owner of Manchester City. A real invasion on a grand scale of 1.

Friday 14 June 2013

More nonsense from Rowley Birkin QC

 
Jeff Powell at his best.

Hands up all those who have heard of Razvan Rat, Ricky van Wolfswinkel, Jesus Navas, Modibo Diakite, Guillermo Varela, Aleksandar Tonev, Jose Canas and Fernandinho.

Without any research I can tell you the following

Razvan Rat: Romanian full back, played a lot of Champions League games
van Wolfswinkel: Dutch wunderkid, tall, strong striker Norwich have wanted him all season
Navas: Sevilla RW. Quick as fuck. Played in and won the WORLD CUP FINAL for Spain
Diakite: French CB, tall, strong, played for Lazio
Varela: fair enough
Tonev: fair enough
Canas: fair enough
Fernandinho: been outstanding for Shaktah Donetsk for quite some time, including lots of Champions Leage games. Explosive CM

For example, I won’t even bother to identify the handful of Mr Whos? bought by Fulham.

Like Martin Stekenleberg, with over 50 caps for Holland who also played in the last WORLD CUP FINAL?

Then, onto Cricket:

Now, in this age of political correctness when to call someone a plonker is a crime against his human rights, we have Warner being banned by Australia until next month’s first Test and fined £7,000 for what sounds like a bit of a lark.

Unprovoked assault in a bar? Bit of a lark really!

Jeff Powell, you are a nonsense.

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