Phil Thompson 'expert' analysis

In SkySports.com's dubiously named expert column featuring Phil Thompson (I can't say it was written by Thommo as he is only quoted due to the fact he hasn't yet learnt to type. His only attempt was in 1998 but he found he cannot see the keyboard due to the size of his nose. Yes I know cheap shot) he discusses West Ham's Alan Curbishley.

"It was a brave a decision to play the same side that played so dismally at Manchester City last week," said Thompson. "But as I said right at the start of the game it shows his faith.

Perhaps it was more reflective on the fact Curbs has no one who's any good on the bench? Except a returning from injury and not fully fit Bellamy of course.

"It wasn't a 4-1 game and probably 2-1 would have been justified because they scored two late goals. But they played very well.

2-1 would have been justified except for Blackburn's disallowed goal that was not offside and the missed penalty. Probably Thommo was too busy thinking of the beautiful flowing locks of his dreamboat Nando Torres to see those incidents.

"I've seen it again and he wasn't offside because he was in line with the defender and the linesman got it completely wrong. That might have changed the whole complexion of the game."

Oh so he did see that.

Might have changed = would have changed because it would have meant the score changed to 2-2 therefore by definition changing the whole complexion of the game

"Robert Green made the penalty save, but he made two other saves as well.

And that.

Note the weird use of 'but' in the above sentence. As if juxtaposing the two halves of the comment. It's as if he means that saving a penalty is valid (and not lucky) if you've made some other good saves during a game as well whereas if it's the only save you make then you have ripped them off or something. Absurd logic.

"So he might feel a little unfortunate that they've been given a whacking today."

Freudian slip here (be afraid Nando, be very afraid).

NB. Bonus points for Thommo not mentioning Liverpool mean I didn't really rip into him as much as I would've otherwise done.