Stats aren't always stats

By Anthony Kastrinakis

He has added up the times in games when Van Persie and Ronaldo have scored their first goal, and then divided by the number of games played. This then is used to give the time of their average first goal in a game. Apparently this predicts when the players will score. It’s utter nonsense of the highest order and the predictive power of this method is equal to blind guessing.

The most annoying part is the claim that:

Stats show when sharpshooting stars are most likely to score (empahsis mine)

The “stats” show nothing, this is the work of a moron who doesn’t understand statistics or football. This joker has added up a bunch of numbers to produce something he believes is meaningful when has no idea how to do so.

Consider his theory for a moment. Average time of first goal the player has scored in a game will predict when that player will score.

Using this amazing predictive system I have been able to predict the following:

Man Utd are likely to score 7 goals in total as that is how many players in the line-up had an average goal time to calculate.

Rafael should score after 46 minutes, beating two of the most prolific goalscorers in world football to the punch.

Alex Ferguson will start on his second strip of chewing gum after 6 minutes

Jose Mourinho will refuse to answer the 13th question posed to him in the post match press conference

There is a place in football for meaningful intelligent statistical analysis. It worries me that a journalist who writes for national newspapers thinks this is that, and that we are stupid enough to buy it